Why Do We Try To Scare The Newbie?

Before I even begin, I will admit that I have been guilty of this a time or two.

Why do we try to scare other people? Why do we immediately go to the negative? It seems that the moment we find out that someone is getting married, or expecting their first child, others will begin to tell them all of their war stories.

Here are some examples of what I mean. "Oh, you're pregnant? Well kiss your sleep and your social life goodbye!" . . . . "Getting married huh? Well good luck with that." Seriously? Whatever happened to a simple "Congratulations"??? I recently heard a story, of a woman who announced she was pregnant, and was then bombarded with miscarriage statistics. To me, that's just mean.

Taking these major steps in your life, can be terrifying anyways, how is it going to help to point out all of the potential issues? Yes, new mothers and newly married couples, will have questions. They may even want advice, but let's give them a moment to breathe. Let's tell them all of the amazing things that will be headed their way. Does it somehow make us feel better to make them worry?

I know, that sometimes it feels good, to vent about the stressful situations in our lives. Those new parents and newly weds, will get there too someday. This doesn't mean that they want to hear all of our worst case scenarios, before they have even started. I had medical issues, during both of my pregnancies, and I cannot begin to tell you the stories I heard.. . . .  What do you say? Thank you?

Really, there is no initiation process. It's not like there is a written test or a handbook. They will figure it all out as they go. They need support and encouragement, probably more than they ever have.

Be kind to the newbie.....please!